The Role of Parents in Music Lessons

"I want my child to learn how to play piano."  Parents. Guardians. Grandparents. This is always the first inquiry made especially when the new learner is a young beginner at the piano.

I am always thrilled to hear this from parents that have an interest to engage their children in music lessons. I am happy to know that more children will experience the benefits of learning a musical instrument. As I welcome new students, I always thank the parents personally for allowing their children to experience such an integral and vital part of development. 

Before classes start, I ask the parents various basic questions such as "How old is your child?", "Is it his/her first time learning the piano?", "Do you have instruments at home?", "Is it home teaching or online?" and other start-up questions before enrollment. 

But what I am most interested to know about is the intention along with the interest in learning the instrument. "Why do you want to enroll your child?", "Does your child want to learn piano because they want to or is it because you want them to?", "What is the goal of the child and what does he/she want to learn about piano?"

Each parent has different answers and I highly respect that. Some parents know exactly what they and their children want. Some also do not know anything about music lessons but have the eagerness to explore their child's talents. I am here to help and give more understanding of its importance. That's why they come to us, music teachers.  As teachers, it is our role not only to teach our students but also to reach out to their parents and share the journey with them.

Now, what about the role of the parents? How can parents help and support them in their musical journey? Is it just enough to pay for the lessons or do they have bigger roles to attain their child's musical learning? How important are these roles to nurture their musical journey?

In this blog, I will share my insights on how parents can help their children in their music lessons and how to work well with teachers. These are all based on my many years of teaching experience. Each student and parent is unique, and I am grateful to have worked with a lot of parents. I took inspiration from them as I write this blog. If you are a parent of my student, take pride because you greatly contributed to this blog.

1.) Parents are great partners in teaching.

Some parents ask me frequently about their child's progress in every lesson, and it does make me happy when they do. It means that they care for their child's learning. They ask what homework, tips, and advice on how they can best support their child during practice at home. Some parents may not have the time to ask, but it doesn't mean they don't care. If there is still time for them for a little chat after the lesson, I usually talk to them briefly about what happened in the class and tell them what they've accomplished and needed to work on.

Some parents also join the lesson specifically for younger beginners like 3 to 4 years old. These kids need their parents to be there and I highly encourage parents to join me. They usually comment that they, too, are learning the piano together with them. This is a very positive experience for everyone, where the bond between the parent and the child is strengthened, and I am also giving a smooth lesson with the support of their parent.

Now, not all parents are available to be in the lessons all the time. Sometimes, they arrive minutes before the lesson finishes to fetch their child, and I invite them sometimes to join the class. The child and I will perform in front of their parents. This encourages the child to be confident in performing with an audience. This is also a fun way to do a lesson report for the parents. We always end the lesson with a round of applause.

2.) They motivate us.

Parents are a great source of motivation. They don't even have to be musicians as long as they know the value and importance of music lessons and they are ready to support their children in any way possible. They can remind their child to practice at home. They can also excitingly accompany them to music stores and buy the musical instruments and gear they need. They are supportive in all of our performances and recitals. They basically push us to be better in any way we can. 

There is also a downside when parents motivate their child too much, especially when the child doesn't have the interest and motivation. This is sort of forcing them to take music lessons even if the child wants to do something else like sports, ballet, or art. During the first lessons, I always ask the student why they want to learn piano. They have different answers and mostly because they love the sound of the instrument, they want to hone their talents, or they like to be their parents or siblings who are also pianists/musicians. These answers sound very positive to me and I can see that they are not forced to learn something that they don't want to. The most important motivation for a child's successful learning is intrinsic motivation. It's the kind of motivation that comes from within. They should be the ones to tell their parents that they want to learn piano, not the other way around. It will also be unfortunate for parents not to support their children if their children want to take music lessons and other things that matter in life basically.

When students tell me that they want to learn piano because they like the instrument, that answer is enough for me. It means that as a teacher, I have also a big responsibility to keep that motivation up and let that motivation grow as we progress in time. Some of my students tell me that when they grow up, they want to be like me, a music teacher, or a piano teacher. My heart melts every time I hear it from them, without me asking what they want to be in the future. It means the motivation is now coming from them and as teachers, we are here to keep it high and not demotivate them in the long run. With the support of the parents, we keep their motivation up and we will always remind them that we are always here to teach them.

3.) They are our number one fans. 

4.) They got your back...especially in the backstage.

5.) Collaboration with the parents achieves better results and fosters understanding among students, parents, and teachers.

I have worked with many kinds of parents during my many years of piano teaching. The best thing that can ever happen is when the parent and the teacher collaborate and work well together. What if parents don't want to be part of the music lessons and would be passive with whatever the teacher is teaching to their child? On the other hand, what if the parents meddle a lot in the music lessons and suggest things that they believe they know better than the teacher?

This is where collaboration enters. It is very important to collaborate and work with the parents to get the utmost results from the lessons. Of course, it always comes down to the student. But parents and teachers can work hand-in-hand to give the best support. How?

What teachers can do for parents who are passive in their child's music lessons is to make reports from time to time. Video recording is very helpful because it shows evidence of the learning from their child. Parents don't have to know every detail about the lesson or where middle C is on the piano. Seeing their child progress and do excellently will make them see that the music lessons are becoming productive, thus encouraging them to collaborate with the teacher in a positive way. 

However, there are some parents who also like to know everything and they want the most impossible thing to happen: to make their child a superstar overnight. It's really nice that parents track their child's progress because they pay for their education, but not to the extent that they lose their trust and respect for the teacher to do their role. 

When collaborating, we regularly talk about the goals of the student. I talk with the parents about the piano pieces that their child wants to learn, the books that they finished, the things to improve on, and so many other things that I believe can help the student. I also listen to the parents' requests and mostly they are about how can they support their child during practice. Some parents ask for something very specific things like wanting to add more Disney songs to their repertoire and maybe asking for additional training like ear training and solfeggio. These things when regularly communicated and updated can be very beneficial to the child's learning. It also helps the parents understand what the teacher is teaching and they will be encouraged to do the same at home, thus reinforcing learning at home. 

 Pavarotti – Music Is Essential

"If children are not introduced to music at an early age, I believe something fundamental is actually being taken from them."

To end this blog, I want to sincerely thank ALL the parents who I have worked with for the past years. Even if I am not teaching your child anymore, I appreciate your time working with me in the big and little ways we could. To the present parents of my students, I owe you big time for bringing out the best of your child's musicality and I hope that we will continue to work harmoniously.